https://indiegospel.net/andrew-kwon Sat, 18 Apr 2026 12:15:30 -0230 https://indiegospel.net/andrew-kwon/blog/9128/void-that-world-cant-fill https://indiegospel.net/andrew-kwon/blog/9128 Despite all of this, my life was a mess. I lived in a small apartment with two other members of the group and our meals consisted of instant noodles and water. For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to be hungry. Almost everything we made from the record sales went directly to our manager and record company. I didn’t want my parents to worry back home and I couldn’t bring myself to ask them for money so I didn’t get to eat on a regular basis. I recall a time I had to go to the hospital because of severe stomach pains. The doctor told me it was from malnutrition. Once again, I lost hope and became depressed. At this time of my life, I felt so alone and miserable that I turned to alcohol to forget those feelings. One night I cried out, “If there really was a God, why is He letting me suffer and starve?” 
One day my friend invited me over to his home for dinner. His mom cooked a delicious meal for us and I ate three big helpings. She kindly suggested that I should live with them since it was obvious I needed proper nutrition. I gladly moved in and she became like a second mother to me. Mrs. Chung fed me at least three meals a day and even packed snacks for me when I went out. She loved me like a son and I felt like part of their family. I didn’t know why she loved me so much but I was grateful someone cared enough to welcome me into their home. I soon found out that she was a Christian and I knew she would pray for me often. I remembered my cry for help and wondered if this was God’s way of showing me He was real. A seed of hope was planted in my heart.
Eventually, I was so unhappy with the entertainment industry that I returned to the U.S. breaking my contract with the company. There had to be more to life than trying to impress a crowd. My heart longed for something more. There was a constant void that couldn’t be filled. 
In 2003, I married my high school crush and began attending church with her family.  Although I attended church with my family since the age of four, I never dedicated my life to Christ. At a men’s retreat with my father in law, I became saved and that’s when I knew that only God can fill the void that I had all my life. God started speaking to me about writing music for Him and I began to pray about the calling in my life. I wanted to serve Him and felt a great need to share His love with others through music. I began to write worship songs and joined the worship team at our church. In 2005, my wife and I were invited to serve a different church in need of a worship leader for their English ministry. The next few years were a wonderful time of growth spiritually and as a leader. It was a humbling time as God was molding me and showing me my weaknesses in different areas of my life. At the same time, wherever I went, I felt a great urgency to share others about Christ. That same year, our youth pastor resigned and I was given the opportunity to be the youth leader. I enjoyed teaching God's Word just as much as reading it. 
As I continue to grow and face life’s daily challenges I am reminded of the people who touched my life and events that impacted me tremendously. In some way or another they all pointed me to Jesus. I study the faces of people I meet and their eyes tell me there’s a void that needs to be filled. I want to point them to Jesus.]]> Thu, 22 Apr 2021 19:45:51 -0230