The Temptation of Feeling Small



Philippians 2:1-2:8

Do you Feel Small? You’re Not Alone! Have you ever felt
inadequate? Have you ever sensed that this feeling of inadequacy has
hindered your relationships from blossoming? Don't worry. All of us
have felt that way.



The temptation to feel inadequate even creeps into the church. We all
face this struggle. Consider the lyrics to "Stained Glass Masquerade"
by Casting Crowns.



"Is there anyone that fails? Is there anyone that falls? Am I the only
one in church today feelin' so small?



Cause when I take a look around everybody seems so strong. I know
they'll soon discover that I don't belong.



So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay. If I make them all
believe it; maybe I'll believe it too.



So with a painted grin, I play the part again. So everyone will see me
the way that I see them.



Are we happy plastic people under shiny plastic steeples, with walls
around our weakness and smiles to hide our pain?



But if the invitation's open to every heart that has been broken, maybe
then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade.



Is there anyone who's been there; are there any hands to raise? Am I
the only one who's traded in the altar for a stage?



The performance is convincing and we know every line by heart, only
when no one is watching can we really fall apart.



But would it set me free if I dared to let you see, the truth behind
the person that you imagine me to be?



Would your arms be open or would you walk away? Would the love of Jesus
be enough to make you stay?"



I love the authenticity this song challenges us to live by. We all feel
inadequate sometimes so why put on a mask? Donning masks is not the way
that God wants us to handle our self image problems. Instead, God tells
us in His Word how to effectively gain a proper view of ourselves, a
view from His perspective.



Why I Don’t Feel Like I Measure Up? There are several reasons
we sometimes don't love ourselves and feel like we're not measuring up.



One big problem is that we often mistakenly base our opinion of
ourselves on the standards of the fallen world around us and not on the
information in the Word of God.



Our culture basically has three inadequate standards for adequacy:
appearance, performance and social status.



People compare themselves to other people all the time to see if they
rank higher in one or more of these three areas. If they think they do
(and the ironic thing is that their judgments are subjective) but if
they think they are better looking or greater performers or higher in
their social status, then they mistakenly conclude they are valuable
and adequate on this basis.



They suffer from the Rudolph-The-Red-Nosed- Reindeer Syndrome. "In the
reindeer pecking order, Rudolph was a nobody. Then came that foggy
Christmas Eve, when Rudolph had an ability that others valued, a nose
that glowed in the dark. After he saved Christmas, the songs says,
'then all the reindeer loved him…'" (Quote from Craig Brian
Larson in his book "Pastoral Grit")



The world around us treats people they view as unattractive or less
productive or lower socially as less valuable. It's only when they
perform or look pretty or achieve status that the world gives them
value. But God doesn't work that way. There isn't any partiality with
Him.



The Bible says, "..God does not respect one person more than another."
Acts 10:34b (NLV)



He doesn't care if you've been bombarded with Botox, or had your body
reshaped to that of a "perfect 10." He's not impressed with your
intellect, your salary, or your standing in the community. Honestly,
He's not. But the world around us is. And if we're not careful we can
fall into the trap of evaluating our adequacy, our value, our self-love
on arbitrary, man-made, and ultimately insufficient rules of self-worth.



I'm not suggesting that we should ignore our appearance, perform poorly
or shun society. And I'm not suggesting that we go to the other extreme
of overplaying our importance. We need to constantly view ourselves as
being loved by God unconditionally. We are not unimportant because we
don't measure up to other people's standards. And we're not more
important because we have more or do more than others.



God's not waiting for you to reach a certain level to love you. He
already loves you! Your adequacy is not based on the subjective and
ever changing formulas of other humans. Your value is based on the
assessment of your Creator and Savior. Each one of us is adequate
because God made us and provided for our eternal friendship with Him if
we will make a personal faith commitment to Jesus. Each one of us has
Designer Genes.



This week we are going to talk about how we need to love our self if
we're going to love others. I realize some people love themselves too
much but that is not our focus this week. The problem we're dealing
with today is how a lack of proper self-esteem can hinder your
relationships.



You're going to have serious difficulty building solid relationships if
you have a crummy self-image or if your self image is based on faulty
reasoning.



The question is not only, "How can I obey the command to love my
neighbor as my self if I don't really love my self?" But also, "How can
I love others in the right way if my self-image is based on a faulty
foundation?"



If we don't get this right we're going to go through life
self-destructing.



Most of us are never going to play professional sports, be chased by
the paparazzi, be corporate executives, win beauty pageants, or achieve
something the world thinks is significant; we all know that. But we
still wrestle with self image and sometimes do unwise things in order
to be accepted by the world.



We shouldn't waste our time trying to build up our self image based on
what the world around us says.



If you get your self image from any human being including your self,
its going to be messed up. The only proper self image comes from
recognizing that your self image is based on the fact that you were
made in the image of God! The Father, Son and Holy Spirit got together
at the creation of man and…



Then God said, "Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us."
Genesis 1:26a (NLT)



Talk about a great platform for my self image! I was made in the image
of God. My image is a reflection of God. I'm not insignificant or
unimportant because I am made in the image of God.



You and I are in the image of God. Were not God but we are important
because we were made in His image.



If you get your self-image from appearance. What are you going to do
when you get around people who are better looking than you? If it's
based on performance how are you going to feel about yourself on those
days when others out perform you? If it's based on social status what
are you going to do when someone has a more impressive family register
or higher standing in the community? (However arbitrarily that is
assessed.)



You're going to feel like your less important. You're going to suffer
feelings of inadequacy. And why? Because you were basing your self
worth on the wrong stuff.



Renewal of Proper Love for Myself...



So how am I supposed to reprogram this faulty software that keeps
telling me I'm less important than others, that I'm inadequate, that
I'm not as special as someone else, that I don't have any reason to
love myself? There's only one way. Daily renewal of my inner thought
process.



The Bible says, "Even though our physical being is gradually decaying,
yet our spiritual being is renewed day after day." 2 Corinthians 4:16b
(GNT)



I do not have to search for significance or self worth. I don't have to
compare myself with others. Every day of my life I need to accept what
God says about me.



My task is to renew myself spiritually every day. I can't afford to let
a day go by that I am not renewing my thinking by dwelling on God's
truth. If I trust my own thinking and emotions, which are both impaired
because of my fallen sinful human nature, then I will stray into
self-loathing instead of self-loving.



With that thought in mind let's look at some Energizing Biblical
Approaches to Self-Worth:



If I'm going to love myself in the right way so that I can love others
in the right way there are several habits I need to establish.



The list I'm giving you today is not exhaustive but the habits are
practical. If you do these things you'll have a greater grip on a
balanced view of your self.



1. THINK LIKE JESUS.



This is foundational. This is crucial.



It's possible to love myself for the wrong reasons. It's possible to
make a subjective comparison of myself with someone else and pridefully
conclude that I'm adequate because I think I'm "better" than the person
I'm comparing myself to.



Concluding that you are of more value than anyone else is not the way
God's Word tells us to think.



"Nothing should be done because of pride or thinking about yourself.
Think of other people as more important than yourself." Philippians 2:3
(NLV)



If you'll read the rest of Philippians chapter two you'll remember
that's how Jesus thought.



"Think as Christ Jesus thought. Jesus has always been as God is. But He
did not hold to His rights as God. He put aside everything that
belonged to Him and made Himself the same as a servant who is owned by
someone. He became human by being born as a man. After He became a man,
He gave up His important place and obeyed by dying on a cross."
Philippians 2:5-8 (NLV)



Amazing! The Lord of Lords and King of Kings gave up His rights as God.
And it began in His thinking. He voluntarily began thinking of Himself
as our servant!



Sometimes our adequacy issues are based on pride. We simply worry too
much about how others view us!



And this causes our relationships to suffer. If my self-esteem is poor
because it is based on my pride or on someone else's estimation of me,
then I become more sensitive when others disrespect me.



Insecure people are touchy people. I find in my life that when I'm
insecure I'm harder to live with. But when I'm sure of who I am in
Christ, when my thinking is like that of

Jesus, when I view myself as a servant. I have more harmony with others.



When people aren't grasping for control in a relationship there's more
harmony. Strife is lessened. I'll say more about this in a few weeks. I
don't care if its in your marriage, with your friends, at work, at
church. Did you know the Bible actually gives us guidelines on how to
disagree with one another and still get along? You'll need these for
solid relationships in life.



But one of the rules is this. God wants us to find our self-esteem not
by depending on others to give us our own way, but by thinking of
ourselves as Jesus did, as servants to one another.



For one thing, you're not going to get your own way all the time. And
for another thing, when you push and shove and fight and argue to get
your own way all the time (which is selfishness), you're going to paint
yourself into a relationship corner. No one is going to want to be
around you!



Does anyone enjoy being around someone who has to have his or her own
way all the time? I don't think so.



If Jesus can think like a servant as totally awesome as He is, then I
can certainly view myself that way.



2. MAINTAIN INTEGRITY.



If I'm going to feel good about myself another big issue I'm going to
have to deal with is integrity. I've got to maintain a solid level of
integrity.



Integrity is when I am true to the moral code I know that God has set
for me to live by according to Scripture. The Bible teaches me to live
a consistent life, not a perfect

life, but a consistent, authentic life. A life of integrity.



Integrity helps others trust me in my relationships with them. But I
also need to maintain integrity if I'm going to feel good about myself.
The Word of God says…



"The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths
will be found out." Proverbs 10:9 (NIV)



In some ways your security is tied to your integrity. It's not just
that others will sometimes find you out if you don't live by the moral
code you know is right, you and God already know about your secret
sins. Your security is threatened because you have already been found
out. I'm not going to feel good about myself if I keep violating my
moral code.

Your conscience is defiled and won't be secured until you confess your
inconsistency and become consistent once again.



"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are
destroyed by their duplicity." Proverbs 11:3 (NIV)



You might object, "But isn't this gauging my self worth by my
performance? Doesn't this mean that I have to perform consistently in
order to feel good about myself?" The difference is the benchmark you
use. When you live with integrity you are comparing yourself to a
consistent lifestyle instead of comparing yourself to the arbitrary and
subjective standards of other humans.



I repeat, the Bible does not teach that you can be perfect. Having
integrity is not being perfect, it's being conscientious. It's being
consistent and authentic. It's being honest with yourself about your
sin.



"If you don't confess your sins, you will be a failure. But God will be
merciful if you confess your sins and give them up." Proverbs 28:13
(CEV)



3. SURRENDER SELF-SUFFICIENCY.



Someone is saying to his or her self right now, "But I've tried to
change my lifestyle in a certain area in order to be consistent to
God's moral standard but it isn't working."



God says… "You will not succeed by your own strength or
power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord All-Powerful." Zechariah 4:6
(NCV)



Ironically, our self-sufficiency often stands in the way of our moral
victory! It stand in the way of maintaining our integrity!



God is the only All-sufficient One! When I think I am strong enough in
my self to win the battle against sin I am only fooling myself. I must
adapt a mindset controlled by the Holy Spirit.



"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit
is life and peace" Romans 8:6



There's not a better passage of Scripture than Galatians chapter five
to identify this habit.



16 I say this to you: Let the Holy Spirit lead you in each step. (We
think we need God to do some things and other things we can do without
God. Wrong. We need God in each step.)

Then you will not please your sinful old selves. 17 The things our old
selves want to do are against what the Holy Spirit wants. The Holy
Spirit does not agree with what our sinful old selves want. These two
are against each other. So you cannot do what you want to do.



18 If you let the Holy Spirit lead you, the Law no longer has power
over you. 19 The things your sinful old self wants to do are: sex sins,
sinful desires, wild living, 20 worshiping false gods, witchcraft,
hating, fighting, being jealous, being angry, arguing, dividing into
little groups and thinking the other groups are wrong, false teaching,
21 wanting something someone else has, killing other people, using
strong drink, wild parties, and all things like these.



I told you before and I am telling you again that those who do these
things will have no place in the holy nation of God. 22 But the fruit
that comes from having the Holy Spirit in our lives is: love, joy,
peace, not giving up, being kind, being good, having faith, 23 being
gentle, and being the boss over our own desires. The Law is not against
these things.



24 Those of us who belong to Christ have nailed our sinful old selves
on His cross. Our sinful desires are now dead.



25 If the Holy Spirit is living in us, let us be led by Him in all
things. 26 Let us not become proud in ways in which we should not. We
must not make hard feelings among ourselves as Christians or make
anyone jealous. Galatians 5:16-25 (NLV)