As I began to think about Loss & Greving - Phil 3.7-14 comes to
> mind. The passage begins by talking about ³loss² and in verse 8 it mentions
> ³gain.² In verses 12-14 the language (from the NIV) speaks of. ³I press on to
> take hold of, ³forgetting² and again ³press(ing) on.²
>
> I find it interesting in that as I have learned to appreciate the grieving
> process at the stage of acceptance, it seems that the main and most difficult
> task to do is to be willing to ³let go² of the thing that is already lost or
> gone. Though the object is gone, we continue to hold on. The fear that
> motivates us is that we will forget the loved one. That they will slip away
> from us as if they never existed.
>
> The process is that we start out by continuing to hold on though the loss is
> defined as gone. In effect there is nothing left to hold on to. But as we
> empty our grip we are then in a position to take hold. For actually the
> relationship to the one lost is ready to take on a new dimension of
> relationship to our lives. We find that the loved one did not really leave us
> at all. I found this as being true with the loss of my Mother years ago.
>
> We often get real attached to the person of our loss meaning the fleshy or
> physical part. I read in a paper about a gentleman who continues to go day by
> day to the graveside of his deceased wife. When asked why does he go he says
> that he knows that the real person he had been married to is not there but
> that ³the hand he use to dance with² is there.
>
> My contention is that our bodies are the containers. The real gift that those
> we love give us is the time and attention and the love that they gave us while
> we were alive. It was the deposits and the investments that they gave us
> while they were living. To use the analogy of a Christmas present, we keep
> the gift and we discard the wrapping and the box that the gift came in.
>
> Certainly this is true for Christ. Christ could not be fully appreciated
> until after His death, burial and resurrection. Its his words and his
> teachings that do mean so much to us. And of course if we believe in Christ
> we realize that these separations are only temporary.
>
> But even more this line of thinking takes on a much deeper meaning to me. It
> is one of grand themes that I think are in the Bible. To be direct about it,
> sometimes in life we have a tendency to hold on to things a lot longer then
> what we should be doing. I think of a fighter pilot, which is what for a long
> time; I wanted to be when I grew up. There is a thing among fighter pilots
> known as ³target fixation² if I am not mistaken. This would be particularly
> true of a fighter pilot in one of these supersonic jet planes. That at the
> point of release of the weapon it is time for the pilot to immediately turn
> his attention back to flying his aircraft rather than watching to see if the
> weapon hits the target.
>
> From a Biblical standpoint, I am impressed by the story of the Exodus. Israel
> was released from captivity in Egypt after four hundred years of slavery and
> of harsh labor. And it says that God brought them out by a mighty hand and
> delivered them. The problem however was not their coming out but their coming
> to the land of promise.
>
> I find that we often consider that the two concepts are one and automatic. As
> soon as we come out of one thing we automatically enter in to something else.
> But, for humans, we have the ability to linger right at the door way of having
> come out but not yet willing to enter in. As a result, God waited for a whole
> generation (40yrs) for the one generation to die off so that he could bring
> the next generation into the promise. Actually in forty years it was more
> like two generations had to die off before those who were 20 yrs old and young
> to grow up and to enter in. For they did not seem to have that strong memory
> of Egypt pulling at them to want to go back.
>
> For the older generations the pull of what they knew was stronger than the
> promise of a better life ahead of them. Compare Deut. 4.37-38 and Deut 6.23.
> It is clear that God¹s purpose was not just to bring them out. He brought them
> out in order to bring them in.
>
> In the 13th and 14th chapters of the Book of Numbers we see that God had a
> very difficult time with bringing Israel into their promised land. They did
> not believe. They would not trust God. They kept holding on to the land of
> bondage and would not let go. They lacked faith that the same God that took
> them out of a bad land could settle them safely in a good land. In Num.
> 14.15-16 says: ³if you put these people to death all at one time, the nations
> who have heard this report about you will say, ŒThe Lord was not able to bring
> these people into the land he promised them on oath, so he slaughtered the in
> the desert¹.²
>
> When I think of grief process and of recovery and even of a life of faith,
> this principle continues to speak to me. Bringing people out of distress is
> only half of what God is willing and wanting to do. The other part of it is
> to bring us in to what God has already promised us ³on oath.²Blessings
> Forever!RJM ( The Devil picks the battles, The Bible gives the answers)