Bitter

I’m bitter… forgive my bitterness

And I’m angry… forgive my selfishness

I got no control… forgive my lawlessness

Oh, everything… is such an awful mess… an awful mess

Tell me what kind of man am I, these things I do I don’t wanna do

And what kind of God are you, mercy and grace abound

As you forgive my bitterness

I’m prideful… forgive my arrogance

And I’m lustful… forgive my hungriness

Some days I don’t believe… forgive my faithlessness

Oh Lord, everything… I’m still a slave to flesh… I got no defense

Tell me what kind of man am I, these things I do I don’t wanna do

What kind of God are you, mercy and grace abound

As you forgive my arrogance

A list of how I’m broken, stretches across the years

Your body stretched upon that cross, you conquered death and fear

You say you’d have done the same if I were the only sinner here

Yes, you will meet me in the air and wipe away my tears

I’m restless… forgive my edginess

And I’m still anxious… forgive my doubtfulness

And I’m self-absorbed… yes, I’m me-obsessed

But I love you, Lord… forgive me again… once again

Tell me what kind of man am I, sayin’ I’m sorry for the same old things

And what kind of God are you, a liberator settin’ captives free

Oh, here’s the kind of man I am, everyday broken but you still stand

Even though I can’t comprehend, your hand on me

Guarantees my deliverance

Collective: Brian Ames, lead vocals, bass guitar | Larry Beers, drums | Packy Lundholm, rhythm guitar, percussion | Ronnie Stoops, lead guitar | Noam Wallenberg, acoustic guitar

© 2018 by Brian Ames

Let’s all agree that even those who love Jesus and have experienced a life reorientation centered on Christ as Lord and King remain challenged by the idea of actually becoming more like him. It’s certainly that way for me: the temptation to go my way and not his is ever present, and I fall to it constantly. One of the great paradoxical mysteries of this faith is that he loves us without condition and redeems us in spite of our repeated failures. And this differentiates our faith from all others. I wrote this song because I know others struggle with this, even to the point of walking away from Jesus. But we don’t make ourselves worthy. We can’t; he does.